omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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