dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
