Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I can't put those talents on a resume
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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