oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
