True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize