I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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