why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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