You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
