how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
