I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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