I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
