Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I've blown a few things in my day
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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