week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize