I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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