i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
