i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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