I am in a vortex of obligation.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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