I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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