I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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