Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
