so explain again why im purple
no
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
