wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
