Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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