did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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