Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Randomize
