oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
