I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
