Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
