super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i think my mom watched the whole time
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
