I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize