Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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