is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
