He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
