I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
