...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
