they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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