butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
