Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
