Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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