So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
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I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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