Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
