I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
