if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
