I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
