have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
