I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
