Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
