Where did you get a picture of my penis
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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