that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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