Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
