And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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