I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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