; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
