he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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