I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize