I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize