Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
