i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
