Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
